shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
