But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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