party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
