So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize