just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
