Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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