dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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