high people should be assigned attendants
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
