Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
