im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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