i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
