I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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