she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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