I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
