I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
