i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
