I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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