On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We talked him into tasing himself.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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