I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
