I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
