Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
