This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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