I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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