party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
