who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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