My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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