Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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