all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
