Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
