i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
MIDGETS
????
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
