Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
