I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
