im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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