I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
