its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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