Midget sex pt 2 tonight
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
