YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
