ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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