i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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