k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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