I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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