That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
