this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
