Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
