apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I pour the whiskey from now on
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
