my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize