I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
