I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
