I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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