I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
