I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
