dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
