You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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