theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
