Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
