The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
