Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
