The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
