Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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