Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
