The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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