'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
