Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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