this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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