Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
