Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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