Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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