he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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