No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
