if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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