That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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