she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it glows. i had to have it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
