Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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