It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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